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been a while

How many years has it been since this feeling took hold? How deep can I take it? Can I function if I let go?
To give myself to be split open and flying, falling - swimming through this skin. I feel like an addict whose been slipped a hit and is coming down. That terror of the bliss, hearing it call and aching to go again.
That wild and free, debilitating darkness so bright it blinds my world. To give it to you. To share... but it is only me. I don't know how to open you up like this. To bleed out of my skin and into yours.
I walk the line of breaking again. Riding the rush of death and swimming against illusion. Fire in my blood and ghosts between my thighs. Where dreams are so close to flesh...
This scream in my heart that's become a siren's song.


Elements versus Music, a query for the community:

Howdy Everyone,
    I would like to suvey everyone on their take of musical expressions of the 5 elements.  The following instruments are what I've found to be related to the elements in my research so far:
Earth:  all percussion instruments, drums
Air:  all wind instruments, flute
Fire:  all stringed instruments, guitar
Water:  all resonant metals, bell, cymbal
I don't know why bells relate to Air but aren't listed as related within the realm of music.  The above are those I have seen listed in the literature available to me.  The following would be my own personal leanings on the subject:
Earth:  drums
Air:  bell, wind instruments, flute, harp
Fire:  guitar and those old school stringed instruments that sound very metallic (perhaps Charlotte may know what I'm talking about because I don't know the name), violin.
Water:  cello (because it sounds very emotional to me)
I would like to ask the community for any examples they know of music that features these instruments in a way they feel truely evokes the element.  OR regular music that to them evokes the element.  For example, Native American flute music evokes Air to me.  Sarah Mac.'s Into the Fire evokes Fire to me.  We all come from the Goddess evokes Water to me.  Are there classical pieces, modern pieces, pagany pieces, instrumental pieces that to you evoke strongly a specific element?  Do not feel at all limited to the correspondences provided above!  Be as creative and exploratory in your answers as you like please!!! 
The goal of this query is to compile the various suggestions so that I can eventually create cds with the music geared toward each element for many uses (mediations, quarter calls, etc...).  I will happily compile the lists and share them once I have them completed!!! 
I greatly, greatly appreciate any help any of you can give me in this matter.  I will be going through my own music and adding my own selections to the list as well - I am not leaving all of the work up to others.  I just want additional in put from people of varied muscial tastes and back grounds to augment what I come up with and to expand my musical experience and my experience of the elements themselves through music - which I have always found deeply spiritual. 
Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH for anything you are able to contribute and for taking the time to read this lengthy e-mail.  

i feel the need to write something that isn't work related for a freaking change.  i'm tired, worn out, burnt out...  i think i also need new glasses.  the hubby is on the couch playing bayonetta, got it for him today.  my hagana class started 10 minutes ago and i am not there.  i tell myself they likely didn't have class tonight because of the parade.  everyone in town practically got off early for the parade.  aiden got out of school insanely early - meaning i had to take time off from work.  really irritating, but nice at the same time.  i am sincerely hoping my treadmill will arrive tomorrow at some point.  i want to force myself to run and build up my stamina.  my stamina and lung capacity are non-existant.  running kills my out of shape booty - but it does WONDERS for me too.  freaking evil. 
alright kitties.  enough for today, i'm off to bed.  reading or cartoons?

procrastination is a beautiful thing

at home today with the kid. they messed up his perscription and by the time i got it sorted out it was too late to take him to school because i couldn't give him his meds. he has another dermatologist appointment at 4 today as well, so my day is fairly well shot. i have a lot to do today, i'm running out of time. i have a big project that needs to be completed by friday. and instead of working on it i'm posting for the first time in weeks? at least i'm to the point where i know what i'm going to write for the thing. i just need to get it on paper to wrap it up. well, there's more than that - but that's the bulk of the issue. ok - ::takes a big girl pill:: going to hide in the bed room until i'm done. not coming out till i have a few pages done. grr! lol have a great day kitties!


Nov. 12th, 2009

I've been working my butt off lately with one thing and another.  I've been feeling creative lately and that's a huge difference for me.  I joined a group that promotes charity work and that has made me feel really super good.  R and I have also been being much more social lately, which has been super.
I'm having a house warming party for my work friends finally!  the house is looking pretty good, though there is still much to be done before guests come in two weeks.  :)  i have been working very hard at being the person i want to be and i hope most sincerely that this is not just a passing phase but something i can truly evolve into.  it hasn't been easy.  but i'm trying with all my heart. 
ugh...  i have to run to work!  at least its wednesday!  friday is my off day this pay period, so that's a relief!!!  so much to do this weekend!  aiden will be home permanently from his seemlingly endless rounds of summer vacation tomorrow night and i am so stoked!!!
have a great wednesday my kitties!  i miss you all!  i've been reading even when i don't comment. 

Aug. 1st, 2009

199.4!!!!!  I've officially broken the 200 mark!!!  celebrations are deeply in order!!!  SQUEE!!!


Its been an awesome weekend!!!  Yesterday we went to the New Orleans museum of art, the City park sculpture garden, and did some breif communing with nature out in a secluded area by one of the ponds.  Lots of birds, turtles.  Next time bringing Aiden, dad and lots of bread.  It was a WONDEFUL day.  Capped off by going to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.  I need to re-read the books.  ::grins::
Today, class, tons of awesomeness.  Better than I had hoped for. 
Now I'm waiting for my clothes to dry so I can pack for my Houston trip.  I'm supposed to leave REALLY soon.  But the dryer was being a booger.  ARGH!!!  ::fingers crosses things dry in time::
going to miss the hubby so much.  miss my munchkin SO MUCH, can't wait for him to come home.  he'll be here soon though!!!
hope everyone is having a great weekend.  don't know if i'll have net while i'm gone.  so huggings and lovins for in the mean time!


raven talked me into watching 7 pounds, the will smith movie...  so its his fault that i just got done balling my eyes out.  yep...  there's a movie to shake the snot out of ya.
i made a shite load of progress on my stone work class today!!!  the power point only lacks the suggested reading page and the images i want to make for it.  well, for class one anyway.  i'm not sure yet if there's going to be 2 or 3 classes.  depends on how long power point 2 starts running.  class one ended up longer than i expected but i am really quite proud of it.  i also need to put together the written portion for the hand out.  i suppose i will be working on that while i am out of town for training.  depending of course on what kind of time i have to work with and how many books i can cram into my suitcase.  ::grins::
i made hibachi steak, noodles and squash tonight.  it was sooo yum!  i finally got the beef perfect!  its all about cutting it just the right thickness so that it cooks but doesn't have time to dry out!  really proud of that! 
i have to get up ass early in the morning so i suppose i ought to go blow my nose and drag my ass to bed.  good night kitties!!!  ::squishes and snuggins::


201.0!!!  OMG!!!  I can't believe it!!!  So close!!! 
I finally finished reading Drawing Down the Moon last night.  If you've ever seen how f-ing thick the behemouth is you'd realize how happy that makes me.  I've been working on it since probably Febuary or March.  It was the revised edition that came out in the 80's, so each chapter had an update at the end for changes between the 70's and 80's.  It was an awesome read and a great counter part to reading the Triumph of the Moon, which focuses on British witchcraft as opposed to American.  Between the two of them I feel like I have a decent grasp of the fundementals of the historical progression of modern paganism, specifically Wicca, debunking a lot of the bullshit.  And there's always so much bullshit to everything in life.  ::grins:: 
I started reading the Mineralogy text book I got last night.  I made big progress on the power point for the stone magick class I want to teach.  DUDE, I found out how to do few new cool things in power point as far as the "animations" go that will make my presentation super snazzy too!!!  stoked about that. r and i are going to start working on the images i want to make for it this weekend.  last night i also watched another 20 minutes or so of the lecture on the hidden messages of water (title is something like that).  so i felt pretty damn accomplished yesterday.  i also did a load of dishes, which i've been avoiding forever.  it really needed doing - so i feel good about that.
anywho - i suppose i need to get dressed and drag my booty to work.  if the weather holds out i might get to ride a helicopter tomorrow!!!  ::beams:: 
i hope everyone is having a great day kitties!!!  big smooches and squishes to you all!!


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